Opinions Galore

This entry has been on for almost a week now, I write and I edit and I continued the process till now. Never felt the need to include just a little something more, every time I edited it!

 In our life, we meet people...different kind of people, people who talk a lot, people who don’t talk at all, people who talk just when required or people who want to talk just for the heck of it! It’s the last category which irks me the most (sometimes the first one too). I’ve really been bemused these days as I see some people raking up chaos ,with their vehement opinions on most discussions one has with them.

These people discuss less and complain more. They whine about everything-from their health to yours’, from children’s’ eating patterns to food preferences, people’s appearances, traffic, school, the city and the world!!! They complain on online forums, on status updates and are ready for an argument just anywhere ! I mean, it’s ok to discuss stuff and it’s absolutely awesome to gossip (I totally enjoy it with my friends and family ;-) but, there’s a fine line between these and becoming crude! 

So, this set, seems to have a problem with most around them and feel they are always correct. Everyone else around them are insignificant losers! They are the “we are to cool and secretly muttering tu kon?khamakha?”  variety!!! I wish they sound happy sometime at least, with someone- if not everyone! There’s so much negativity in this world, I wish they spare us theirs’! Why not try to make a little difference in this world for someone , or appreciate the ones who are trying!?

You know,iIt’s good to talk- to make conversations , naughty gossips , healthy discussions but, very un-cool to always try winning a discussion over and culminating it into a war!

I’ve so much to write on this but, if I write it all, I’ll need to write a book , so I’ll let out a few-

I’ll first share about a few “Online” opinionated ones-

Most of us detest anyone telling us how we should bring up our children! Each child is an individual and so is each parent! Each child eats , wears, does, talks and even craps different for God’s sake!  Why do some people impose what they did for their kids (or in most cases could not do ) on our kids! Breathing down someone’s neck to prove what they follow is correct and the other person is an ignorant twit, is a common trend on a lot of new mommy pages online.

Once on a public forum, a worried mom enquired for source of calcium as her daughter wouldn’t drink milk and there went these two women lambasting her on how important it is to give milk to her daughter, how will she strengthen her bones etc. .My first reaction was- Oh wow, so your kid loveesss milk?? Well, mine doesn’t...!!! He has it when he feels like it and sometimes not at all ! But, then, don’t we ,as adults, do the same...?Have our tea/coffee/milk when we want to? Why should we force it down our child’s throat just coz of a common perception !?

Another one enquired about alternatives as her kid didn’t eat greens but, loved chicken. While a few nice women were kind enough to give detailed alternatives and relaxing her, there were few who started to chastise her for not being able to shove greens down her kid’s throat!? People tend to get so preachy, without realising the harrowed state one must’ve been in while enquiring! Do they really mean that kids who don’t eat greens but, ate chicken are unhealthy!!! For all that sermon about nutrition and all, of course one can compensate by giving fruits, nuts or other whole grains . People should realise that each mother learns these things differently at a different pace. The discourse from these  “We know it all people” is so uncalled for.

Coming to real life examples-

Sweets are a topic of most fights and arguments in kids and adults alike. There are people who give too much sweets and there are people who don’t give any. If you don’t give sweets to your kid, good going and hats off!!! Some kids want (pretty much as we do) one, two or sometimes three times in a week their chocolate or any other sweets. The key here is moderation....!! Just know how much to give and what to give and at “what time of the day”..I completely abhor the fact that no matter who meets my kid-their first statement is “You want a chocolate?!” and once I retorted back rather curtly and asked a person that I didn’t want my son to have any. He was adamant and told me its okay to give sometimes and how often he gave them to his daughter(who is the same age as my son) .I mean, how would he know whether I give it to my son “sometimes” or not?! Why assume that I’m a crazy stuck up woman who tries to over discipline my child! It’s just that- much like most new moms, I do get edgy and uneasy when someone gives my child something out of his time, for that disturbs his sleeping pattern... I don’t fight or kill or cry hoarse about it but, I wish people would let these decisions be the parents’ and not theirs’!

All parents start somewhere. If this is my starting, you had yours’ too (or will have yours’) Everyone makes their own mistakes and learns from them. What was true in your times might not be true for me or might be again true for the times ahead....When no two paediatricians think alike how can one expect two mothers (or more) to be on the same page!

We can’t always be right and am sure we don’t strive to be  either!!! But, I know for sure that it’s "now", that we can discipline our kids or set routines and patterns for them. It’s "now", that we form habits that last a lifetime. As it is, when they grow up, they adjust their eating, sleeping patterns according to their schedules and comforts but, it’s the good habits we inculcate now, that live with them longer.

Don’t think you are doing better or worse than anyone around. Don’t compare-yourself or your kids to anyone else’s. You all are just fine...Each parent is a student of nature, a student who makes mistakes, learns and adapts new ways  to do things better. Only, here we don’t have grades or marks. It’s satisfaction at the end of the day and trust me, let no one disrupt/spoil or ruin it for you!

These were some parents and kids incidents.

There are some more of women who have very rigid opinions on  others for their diets , (READ, following a “healthy diet and not starvation”!!!) and why eating ghee and oil and sweets is alright coz their elders did it too. People don’t realise that the older times are very different form now. The contamination of  food, the quality of grains- everything differs. You enjoy your mithais and chocolate mousses if you must but, stop educating people on corrective eating!

People have become very intolerant and forget the concept of live and let live?! These people give unwanted advice...!!!May be they secretly wanted to get into politics  or law but, lacked the calibre there!

There are others , who love to be at the opposite side of your discussions. No matter what you talk about, they will have the opposite to say. Wait, did I hear agreeing to disagree??What’s  that??? HA!! they want to pin you down!(Falls panting and tired!!) People need to realise that sometimes winning and securing relationships are more important than winning arguments!

I have people who don’t even understand the context of a status update , but, they love jumping on it and trying to prove their totally unrelated random point!!! I most certainly also have healthy debates and disagreements with people and we are back to normal-liking each others’ pix and commenting on other posts! It’s the ones who suck your blood over updates ,are the ones who can drive me nuts any time of the day!

I am coming to terms with this quote I read somewhere :

“Opinions are like an asshole, everyone has one! “ and another “ I must respect the opinions of others, even if I disagree with them!”

That pretty much concludes this entry on Opinions galore! Have an opinion? Feel free to share it, even if it’s offending, I’ll take it with a pinch of salt..;-)