Fitting In - Is it cool?

Looking at the youngsters/teenagers growing up these days, a part of me is always always worried. The changing times, the changing personalities, the changing environment and the changing behaviour are causing quite some strife within them! Actually,the same is reflected in a lot of adults !The society pressure, the peer pressure and an inner conflict to be better than others or sometimes to be better than one ownself! The pressure to look and feel like others in your group or the urge and desire to “fit in” in a particular group. It makes people do insane things!

While I see increasing number of people taking to smoking, drinking and drugs ,my heart sinks just imagining what if my child does the same?! Most of the times I’ve found the reasoning given by some of these people completely shallow and meaningless, sometimes even very stupid! Some of them being “Oh! my friends do it, so I do it” or “It’s cool!” or a philosophical stupid one “It takes you to another world where you are no more yourself, you shed inhibitions and become another person!” Really...?is that how much you hate yourself that you desire to be somebody you are not, by drowning in alcohol or drugs and that too so often?!

I’m nobody to condemn or criticise peoples’ tastes and or their choices and I also believe, that while it could be fine for some to do it occasionally just for fun, or it’s a part of their culture and festivities but, there are many who make it a part of one’s daily life and so inseparable from their evening outings  that it just appalls me! I see adolescents getting together in evenings and smoking up on someone’s terrace or just by the road side, sharing a drink in a flask while driving around town or going to a holiday spot and getting totally wasted there! I wonder, is it really that cool?!!I mean we can totally go crazy, pose for funny and cool pix, make a duck face and twerk like Miley Cyrus or pout like Kim Kardashian even when we are in our senses and not high on substance! I don’t understand the false temporary high, I’d rather get high on life! But, to each his own I guess....My writing about it won’t make anybody shun all this and if someone were to criticise me and give me another explanation on the pros of these things, that won’t make me get started with these!

At some point most people have tried and given up smoking and alcohol and honestly I’ve seen chain smokers give up in one go after deciding and making themselves strong not to touch it again. And its totally a personal and a lifestyle choice just as eating non veg and veg food could be for some. But, when alcohol and drugs make you do things you won’t do in your senses, that’s where the trouble begins!

Have seen horrible accidents (people refuse to accept the fact that when they drink and drive, they endanger not just their own lives but, of so many others around and with them), have seen dirty fights, ugly verbal spats and people being carried on and about after overdose of drugs or too much alcohol!

We all hear of generation gap and that’s the statement most teenagers give their parents at least once (or more) in their lifetime! I am 32 and somehow I already don’t feel belonged to any generation! I’m stuck in the middle of it all where I’m called un-cool for not smoking or drinking (though I do party occasionally and dine out pretty often) and a bore for stopping people from “overdoing” these things.On the other hand I’m younger as compared to my parents’ generation. So I feel young and old all at the same time.

I see people working out and working hard to look good for themselves,then I see people working out and wearing clothes to fit into a cool dude/dudette mould ! It’s good to be fit and look good but,killing yourself and starving to death to achieve that because you want to look good and be a part of a certain group, defeats the purpose. I see so many moms deliver a baby and start worrying about shedding weight when their stitches are absolutely raw! Of course it’s good to plan and figure out how to get back in shape but, dieting and making your child deprived of nutrition isn’t fair on the child! Enjoy motherhood, enjoy the stretch marks, enjoy the feeding, enjoy the sleepless nights, enjoy the changes all- good and bad that come with motherhood! It’s just a matter of an year and most women lose half the weight by running behind the little one and eating right! Don’t lose on to life and love for the little one, to become a yummy mummy all so soon ! Also, enjoy your wrinkles and the wisdom old age brings you instead of competing and trying to look younger than the youngsters! I love Meryl Streep & Waheeda Rehman..They are the ultimate examples of growing old gracefully.

People die to look fairer than they are because they think fair is hot! They fake an accent to seem cool, they wear clothes which are “so not them ” to look sexy or sometimes even trying to look like a tomboy(to hang out with the guys, so they are treated like one of them and end up looking funny sometimes!)They starve to have size zero! They lose their mind while trying to lose the weight. Fitting in your clothes should be important but, changing yourself and losing your identity to fit into a group to be accepted is totally weird!

There are so many other ways people try to “fit in” but, I’d rather stand out...

I love this quote I recently read by Ian Wallace “Why are you trying so hard to fit in when you were born to stand out?”

I always leave my write ups open ended...because I feel there is so much more to write on these topics that I fall short of time in covering everything.

So I close this piece here, hoping we all have the courage to stand out from the crowd and stand up for who we are and not get desperate to be somebody we are not just to “fit in.”