Being a mother

When I used to see young mothers around me (mostly amongst my family/friends/colleagues), I often used to wonder why they were so  anxious about everything from pregnancy to child birth,after all it was just another step in life like teenage, adulthood, getting married and the works.

But, when I got married,  I understood what I couldn’t understand when everyone else told me- That marriage was all about accepting not just your spouse but, his family , his habits et all.

Just when I was getting settled in my marriage I got expecting with our baby. As morning sickness took over my days that followed, I was irritated and perturbed. With the days passing by and the sickness turning into a rounded belly, which just encouraged me to hog more and more food, read good books, pamper my taste buds & my mind, I was determined to stay positive through it all so it doesn’t affect my thoughts, which in turn could affect my behaviour and my baby. I eventually cut out people who impacted me negatively in life and till now, I’ve no regrets I did that. I strongly believe that people who don’t care about you during this important phase of your life don’t deserve to be a part of your life any time.

I got loving my new shape and the new me...Towards the last few days of my rounded stature, my anguish took the better of me. Finally, my baby came into the world and I understood once again what I never could when others told me-What it really felt like to be a mother!

From the minute I heard him wailing as he came out, till now-as he sleeps in my arms...the feeling is indescribable. It’s completely out of this world. At least I never thought I could ever have this gamut of feelings all at the same time!

I always thought (and was made to believe so by most around me) that I was a strong and independent woman. Suddenly that tough woman became so vulnerable that it was unnerving for me.

I shed tears at the drop of a hat- When I lay my eyes on him, when he got his injections and he cried aloud, when he was put under the rays coz he was detected with mild jaundice, when they took his blood for a blood test, when I held him in my arms, when he slept cosy right next to me! Everything and anything just made me drop a tear or two.God, I felt straight out of some TV soap opera!

I also realised that even as you are alone with your spouse ,God gives you that inner strength and will power to move on and about to do the chores for your little one no matter how much pain you yourself are in!

As days passed by, I realised being a mother really makes you a “new woman.”

It’s so rightly said that becoming a mother is like a rebirth for every woman!

It might weaken you in the beginning , only to make you stronger than ever before for the years to come with your child (Inshaallah) ! It makes you impatient in the beginning, only to make you patient enough to tackle all the times that would come ahead! It makes you scared in the beginning, only so that you can be brave and stand up for the true meaning of what a MOTHER is truly meant to be.

The days are full of anticipation, the mornings more beautiful with the gurgling next to you, the coos and cuddles, those typical childlike smiles (to the unknown) , that soft touch, the changing of diapers and their bath time, play time – everything so different and so much more beautiful! Being a mother might have disconcerted me but, it has somewhere given me a sense of balance within my own self. I’ve stopped bothering about petty issues like who is thinking what about me and whether what I say or do affects anybody, why someone dislikes me or isn’t talking to me. I’m in my own world...A happy world...A world where it’s just my family-and if you look more closely, just my baby and me! And to keep this happy and myself sane I, like most mothers, would give it my all in this world.

This is just the commencement of my feelings of motherhood and it gets me so eager to know what lies ahead...Can’t wait for him to utter his first word, take his first step, play his first game and so so so much more...

To round it off...I love being a mother, the new woman that I’ve become!:-)