I want some space!- Real & Virtual

Space is a BIG word creating a lot of small problems in every relationship. Whether it’s your virtual relationships/friendships or the real ones. The words that accompany it are expectations and control!

Let’s begin with space- what is space?
I need my own space for cultivating my creativity, to be with my own self and think where my life and I am are headed, to have clarity of thoughts and expressions. But how you exercise and seek this space in a relationship is very delicate. If I can correctly put it in Hindi, I’ll say-

“Kissi se itni bhi space bhi na mango ke us space me baki saari duniya sama jaaye..aur phir aap uss insaan ko duniya ki bheed me dhundhte raho...”

It’s nice to have your own space to be doing all this but, it’s also nicer if once in a while you feel belonged to someone, take care of them and be taken care of. Of course how much space is “space enough” varies from individual to individual. As long as you give someone their space to follow their passions & have their time alone with themselves and friends and they give you yours’, it’s a healthy relationship but, if you curb either ones’, don’t complain of them being suffocating, over possessive etc. Coz if you aren’t giving them theirs’ ,they’ll want a lot in yours.’
While on one side you give a person space while they are irritable, at others, they’ll want you to ask them “why they are irritable.” So one way is to try and know them, the other is to let them be. If you let them be, it might get to you, just like they get to themselves’ in such situations!

Coming to expectations- I know so many people who preach-
“Happy is a man who has no expectations for he is never disappointed!” True that..but , not all of us are born with this learning & knowledge. We inculcate it over a period of years, as we grow up.( And I’m growing up ;-))

I mean, just imagine a child thrown up in the air, “not expecting” that he’ll be caught down below ! Is it ever possible? Rarely so!!! Why then does this confidence diminish as we grow up? Coz we stop trusting? I guess so. Now, no one would "not want" to be caught especially after a fall,whether it’s a child or an adult! Forget about just a fall, even other things as well. As kids we trust everyone around to be nice and with no malice. It’s only sad, that as we grow up, a lot others around us grow up into malicious, calculative, mean people! So we need to use our own discretion in identifying such people from the genuine ones.

Control is another point of contention in relationships and friendships. In every relationship there is one person who tries to dominate and control more than the other. Two strong individuals rarely are a success together. If there’s ample two way communication of course two strong individuals too sustain together and we have examples to quote from (not that I’m going to get into any) Once in a while if both exercise control it’s a fun situation. But, point is in which situation you allow who to take control. Everyone has their areas of expertise, if we identify that and let that decide the control part, we are pretty much sorted.
I see people updating their statuses on FB, Orkut, BB the 1st thing they wake up in the morning and I wonder wouldn’t they be better off waking up to real people? I feel people who wake up to the virtual worlds are more often than not, the ones trying to escape their own reality. Why I talk about this here is coz these are people with strong sentiments and they start their day, rather eat, pray and sleep updates! They don’t have time to reply to sms-es and return calls but, they’d rather update their statues and tell the world what they are eating and when they are shitting! Darn I don’t want to know this jazz! I need “My Space” please control from making every action of yours’ a public property. Guard your personal space and emotions. You need that! I do!