“Find a guy who calls you beautiful instead of hot, who calls you back when you hang up on him, who will lie under the stars and listen to your heartbeat, or will stay awake just to watch you sleep... wait for the boy who kisses your forehead, who wants to show you off to the world when you are in sweats, who holds your hand in front of his friends, who thinks you're just as pretty without makeup on. One who is constantly reminding you of how much he cares and how lucky he is is to have you.... The one who turns to his friends and says, 'that's her.'”
I looked at marriage as a union which brings together all such people...but, as I grew up I realised marriages aren’t really made in heaven. Seeing the trend, how many marriages would God make in heaven? For some people ‘none at all’, for some others ‘three to five or even more’ (how unfair now) and for yet others, just “ONE”
Looking at this I concluded that while for some, Marriage is an institution - a holy matrimony (and it works for them co they feel blessed to be in it), for some others it’s a disaster and for yet others it’s a painful disease they are to live with, without an escape! They have no option! So they just stretch it as far, sometimes due to the kids or sometimes fearing what the society would say if they get divorced! Not realising that they kill not just themselves but even their kids in the process!
I looked at failed relationships (mine included) and decided:
1. Never to fall in love again. ( Only it’s very hard not to want to be loved and love again)
2. Never to trust a man when he says he’ll love u forever and never leave u. ( Nothing is permanent, last of all men)
3. Never trust a man when he says he’ll not cheat on u. (Most men cheat, point is few get caught!)
4. Never to b with a fanatic thinking maybe he’ll change later with time. (Whether it’s about religion or your dressing or your friends or your cooking or eating habits- men, once form opinions and they are difficult to change , they won’t change-no, not even with time)
5. Never to allow any man to take complete control over you. (Emotionally or otherwise, always keep some-even if it’s a little, space for yourself)
6. Never surrender completely and be a total pati vrata! (No man deserves it, all of them expect it, but, no they don’t deserve it)
7. Keep in your relationship, a healthy mix of his time, my time and our time!
8. Do as many things as possible ‘together’ (Keeps the romance in a relationship alive!) You should try travelling, cooking, cleaning, dancing, shopping, working (in terms of giving and taking inputs) everything together, once in a while.
9. Fighting is healthy, but make up sooner than late. (Don’t let your ego make you lose your loved ones-once you make up and apologize the next time your spouse will, if not keep at it, it’ll come ;-) )
10. Give every relationship a best shot! It’s difficult to find love, once found should be given 100% to nurture and let it blossom. If it’s meant to be, it will be, just don’t give up easily and say – I’m off my way , you go urs’
11. Men are like babies, no matter how elder to you, you’ve got to baby sit them every once in a while...(But my dear men, remember a woman needs her share of babysitting too...so in once of her PMS days or hectic work days, if she’s cranky, your being a little loving and kind won’t harm you too much )
12. I’ve also learnt that it’s good to make new memories and try to let go off the past. It’s painful to let go off past memories but, it’s even more painful to cling and hold on to these! So might as well lose some and gain some new beautiful ones!
Sometimes it’s hard to come to terms with the fact that it’s over. It always feels like there’s more left...much more. You move on, yet something strongly pulls you back! Just snap the threads pulling you back and try looking forward clearing your vision! Easier said than done, but worth a try nonetheless!
Marriages if rediscovered every now and then and not allowed boredom are sure to survive. The constant nagging, non understanding, uncooperative behaviour from either spouse( expecting just one person to do it all- raise the kids, run the house, clean the house, feed you and the family) will eventually lead it to break one day.
To keep the sanctity of marriage alive, give it all that you’ve got to make it work or don’t get into it. If you aren’t sure of the person, hold on, don’t jump into it and divorce later. Let your heart give you that shout! And if you’ve tried it all and the situation doesn’t improve, you feel stifled n suffocated, walk out. Don’t cheat on your partner! Not worth it...plus causes unnecessary troubles for everyone involved!
For me it’ll be or not, depends on my heart’s calling. If I’m with a person for years together and do not feel he’s the man I want to wake up with every morning- I’ll probably never get into it. And if one morning I wake up and yearn for him to be the one I wake up to every morning, well, then he’ll be the one I will marry!
Here’s hoping we find ours’ sooner than late! ;-)
I looked at marriage as a union which brings together all such people...but, as I grew up I realised marriages aren’t really made in heaven. Seeing the trend, how many marriages would God make in heaven? For some people ‘none at all’, for some others ‘three to five or even more’ (how unfair now) and for yet others, just “ONE”
Looking at this I concluded that while for some, Marriage is an institution - a holy matrimony (and it works for them co they feel blessed to be in it), for some others it’s a disaster and for yet others it’s a painful disease they are to live with, without an escape! They have no option! So they just stretch it as far, sometimes due to the kids or sometimes fearing what the society would say if they get divorced! Not realising that they kill not just themselves but even their kids in the process!
I looked at failed relationships (mine included) and decided:
1. Never to fall in love again. ( Only it’s very hard not to want to be loved and love again)
2. Never to trust a man when he says he’ll love u forever and never leave u. ( Nothing is permanent, last of all men)
3. Never trust a man when he says he’ll not cheat on u. (Most men cheat, point is few get caught!)
4. Never to b with a fanatic thinking maybe he’ll change later with time. (Whether it’s about religion or your dressing or your friends or your cooking or eating habits- men, once form opinions and they are difficult to change , they won’t change-no, not even with time)
5. Never to allow any man to take complete control over you. (Emotionally or otherwise, always keep some-even if it’s a little, space for yourself)
6. Never surrender completely and be a total pati vrata! (No man deserves it, all of them expect it, but, no they don’t deserve it)
7. Keep in your relationship, a healthy mix of his time, my time and our time!
8. Do as many things as possible ‘together’ (Keeps the romance in a relationship alive!) You should try travelling, cooking, cleaning, dancing, shopping, working (in terms of giving and taking inputs) everything together, once in a while.
9. Fighting is healthy, but make up sooner than late. (Don’t let your ego make you lose your loved ones-once you make up and apologize the next time your spouse will, if not keep at it, it’ll come ;-) )
10. Give every relationship a best shot! It’s difficult to find love, once found should be given 100% to nurture and let it blossom. If it’s meant to be, it will be, just don’t give up easily and say – I’m off my way , you go urs’
11. Men are like babies, no matter how elder to you, you’ve got to baby sit them every once in a while...(But my dear men, remember a woman needs her share of babysitting too...so in once of her PMS days or hectic work days, if she’s cranky, your being a little loving and kind won’t harm you too much )
12. I’ve also learnt that it’s good to make new memories and try to let go off the past. It’s painful to let go off past memories but, it’s even more painful to cling and hold on to these! So might as well lose some and gain some new beautiful ones!
Sometimes it’s hard to come to terms with the fact that it’s over. It always feels like there’s more left...much more. You move on, yet something strongly pulls you back! Just snap the threads pulling you back and try looking forward clearing your vision! Easier said than done, but worth a try nonetheless!
Marriages if rediscovered every now and then and not allowed boredom are sure to survive. The constant nagging, non understanding, uncooperative behaviour from either spouse( expecting just one person to do it all- raise the kids, run the house, clean the house, feed you and the family) will eventually lead it to break one day.
To keep the sanctity of marriage alive, give it all that you’ve got to make it work or don’t get into it. If you aren’t sure of the person, hold on, don’t jump into it and divorce later. Let your heart give you that shout! And if you’ve tried it all and the situation doesn’t improve, you feel stifled n suffocated, walk out. Don’t cheat on your partner! Not worth it...plus causes unnecessary troubles for everyone involved!
For me it’ll be or not, depends on my heart’s calling. If I’m with a person for years together and do not feel he’s the man I want to wake up with every morning- I’ll probably never get into it. And if one morning I wake up and yearn for him to be the one I wake up to every morning, well, then he’ll be the one I will marry!
Here’s hoping we find ours’ sooner than late! ;-)
hi good wishes for your acting journey
ReplyDeleteThanks Mallika :-)) really appreciate...
ReplyDelete