I guess after enough insight in this mystic angel's life, now its time for her daily doses.Here goes-
I start the day with an hour long nice workout session. Sweating is the best way to distress. This has become an integral part of my 6 day schedule in the week. After your mundane tasks get ready (read paint ur face) and start out on yet another day of hunting for work. Meetings/auditions pretty much take the entire day.
Some meetings are rather interesting-you meet men who are the loud dhols. They could be anyone from coordinators to supposed producers/first time directors, who’ll give you fancy stories on their script they have for you. On how it could be life changing for us and give us our BIG break. After spending a considerable time meeting such people I know how to differentiate between the serious and “phainku”(all talks) men! Meeting at coffee shop-not ordering coffee, screaming in a way to attract attention of the people surrounding you , asking you if you’ll settle down for lesser money coz the role is challenging- absolutely a NO! The people who are serious wouldn’t want to gain public attention, would be sane enough to discuss a new project at hand calmly and intelligently. Women who fall for such jerks and their trap please start analysing! I excuse myself from such men and make my way out sooner than I come in. But then this industry is such you meet some genuine people, some morons and some rather interesting ones. For instance one sends me a message saying-
‘ you cen where meeting. I cen teking you as my face of ad’
He probably meant he wanted to meet me for some ad. Wonder how just looking at my pix he wanted to take me for the ad. I know a lot of women who would’ve gone to meet this guy but my instincts told me to keep away. Besides, message after message wanting to “met me” are sort of shady. Gosh! If there was a way to block messages I’ll have a zillion nos.blocked by now!
I drive back home and on my way I ponder and introspect on each individual I met during the day. On how this thing works. On how things are slow for me and probably stuck somewhere in outer space. How I’m waiting for it to just start.
After a hectic long drive till my house (I stay considerably far from the usual struggler crowd) I get back to my lovely house.But, it’s when I get back to this empty house-I freeze!
The noise of nerve numbing silence of the evening, fighting its way in through my window. The empty setting sun, birds retreating to their home and in a distance music blaring in a wedding hall!
True its not easy, living alone. Trying to make a living with fears and doubts, nobody to fall back on and call your own, coz all of the people who were your own in this city have deserted you in their own ways!!Some got busy, some don’t care anymore-out of sight, out of mind! Some lie, cheated and moved on, some trying to be friends when “they want to be friends” and when “they” have the time, some pretending to help you (so to say) in your journey which by now you know, has to be dealt with alone! Not to forget the ones who sweet talk with you with an ultimate motive of getting in your pants. Thank God I’m wise enough to keep such men at bay and not entertain their conversations beyond a point!
They say when you’re at the top you are more often than not-very ALONE! But has someone realised when you are down below you are even more alone? It’s the journey in between which matters and the people who actually stick by you here would always, always care. In my case it sure is my family-they are my pillar of strength. Their faith keeps me going. I had lots who made mockery of my dreams but then I had my family, my best friend and few others to keep me sane and strong!
I sit and introspect on times went by in love, life and giving! Do I truly deserve a life for my own self now? U bet I definitely do! I ponder on the people in my life, so many meaningless names on your friend lists, so many names in your phone books, so many names of people you have to suck up to when you want to get somewhere! The people who are important, the people who are genuine are the people who out of the list of 500 would send you an occasional message on the progress of your work and would want to catch up at a place where at least we both know we’ll be able to pour out our heart’s content!
If you don’t have anyone but just your strong will and determination you are still not alone! I’ve quit things and people just when I make up my mind. I just wish this strong will leads me to my destination soon enough. I know I’ve taken a road less travelled where I will not compromise on my ethics, but my introspection tells me, this road less travelled will surely make the difference-One day!
I start the day with an hour long nice workout session. Sweating is the best way to distress. This has become an integral part of my 6 day schedule in the week. After your mundane tasks get ready (read paint ur face) and start out on yet another day of hunting for work. Meetings/auditions pretty much take the entire day.
Some meetings are rather interesting-you meet men who are the loud dhols. They could be anyone from coordinators to supposed producers/first time directors, who’ll give you fancy stories on their script they have for you. On how it could be life changing for us and give us our BIG break. After spending a considerable time meeting such people I know how to differentiate between the serious and “phainku”(all talks) men! Meeting at coffee shop-not ordering coffee, screaming in a way to attract attention of the people surrounding you , asking you if you’ll settle down for lesser money coz the role is challenging- absolutely a NO! The people who are serious wouldn’t want to gain public attention, would be sane enough to discuss a new project at hand calmly and intelligently. Women who fall for such jerks and their trap please start analysing! I excuse myself from such men and make my way out sooner than I come in. But then this industry is such you meet some genuine people, some morons and some rather interesting ones. For instance one sends me a message saying-
‘ you cen where meeting. I cen teking you as my face of ad’
He probably meant he wanted to meet me for some ad. Wonder how just looking at my pix he wanted to take me for the ad. I know a lot of women who would’ve gone to meet this guy but my instincts told me to keep away. Besides, message after message wanting to “met me” are sort of shady. Gosh! If there was a way to block messages I’ll have a zillion nos.blocked by now!
I drive back home and on my way I ponder and introspect on each individual I met during the day. On how this thing works. On how things are slow for me and probably stuck somewhere in outer space. How I’m waiting for it to just start.
After a hectic long drive till my house (I stay considerably far from the usual struggler crowd) I get back to my lovely house.But, it’s when I get back to this empty house-I freeze!
The noise of nerve numbing silence of the evening, fighting its way in through my window. The empty setting sun, birds retreating to their home and in a distance music blaring in a wedding hall!
True its not easy, living alone. Trying to make a living with fears and doubts, nobody to fall back on and call your own, coz all of the people who were your own in this city have deserted you in their own ways!!Some got busy, some don’t care anymore-out of sight, out of mind! Some lie, cheated and moved on, some trying to be friends when “they want to be friends” and when “they” have the time, some pretending to help you (so to say) in your journey which by now you know, has to be dealt with alone! Not to forget the ones who sweet talk with you with an ultimate motive of getting in your pants. Thank God I’m wise enough to keep such men at bay and not entertain their conversations beyond a point!
They say when you’re at the top you are more often than not-very ALONE! But has someone realised when you are down below you are even more alone? It’s the journey in between which matters and the people who actually stick by you here would always, always care. In my case it sure is my family-they are my pillar of strength. Their faith keeps me going. I had lots who made mockery of my dreams but then I had my family, my best friend and few others to keep me sane and strong!
I sit and introspect on times went by in love, life and giving! Do I truly deserve a life for my own self now? U bet I definitely do! I ponder on the people in my life, so many meaningless names on your friend lists, so many names in your phone books, so many names of people you have to suck up to when you want to get somewhere! The people who are important, the people who are genuine are the people who out of the list of 500 would send you an occasional message on the progress of your work and would want to catch up at a place where at least we both know we’ll be able to pour out our heart’s content!
If you don’t have anyone but just your strong will and determination you are still not alone! I’ve quit things and people just when I make up my mind. I just wish this strong will leads me to my destination soon enough. I know I’ve taken a road less travelled where I will not compromise on my ethics, but my introspection tells me, this road less travelled will surely make the difference-One day!
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